By now, you’ve had a run-in with a nay sayer in your life. If not, you might want to re-evaluate how big you’re going. The neat thing about our industry is the bigger we go the more “haters” seem to start appearing.
Let me clarify, I’m not talking about the people who come across your articles, the ones on your email list or even your Facebook people.
I’m talking about the people in your own home. Family members, friends and maybe your spouse. It’s not easy when someone that you care for, trust and possibly love… shun you, show a lack of support or straight show distaste for what you’re doing. It can be painful. I know, I’ve been there with several family and friends.
Why and How Do Nay Sayers Have Power?
There’s only one answer here, we give it to them. Ouch, right?
Want some good news? If we give power, we can also take it away.
First, we need to eliminate sabotaging language. There is a tendency to justify how someone is
treating us with words or phrases such as:
“Well, I have been in several other companies”
“Well, I haven’t finished a lot of difficult tasks in the past”
“I HAVE been at this for quite some time with little results”
Those instances are in the past and no longer have a bearing in the present moment. No past
experience or circumstance has any bearing on the present or the future, with the exception of
learning from that experience. The choice, yes CHOICE, to repeat the past is up to you.
I digressed, but I feel that is a very important point to make. We’re about to get a little deeper here now.
Meeting Them Where They Are
We’ve all been brought up with a certain set of beliefs. Example, the good grades, good job, etc… belief. While you and I know that is an outdated way of thinking, it’s still the belief of
millions and millions of people.
When a nay sayer comes along and poo-poos on our parade, it’s offensive and sometimes we take it personally. “How can they say that about ME? I’m their _____ (son, daughter husband, wife – you fill in the blank)”
And the best one “Don’t they trust me?”
What we fail to understand, is this statement they made or opinion they have, is derived from a pre-conceived notion or past experience. Whether it happened to them personally, someone they knew, the internet or a conversation they heard in a public bathroom. It doesn’t matter, it’s what they think they know. How can we fault someone for their beliefs?
AVOID THIS: Using your words to convince or argue someone into thinking or feeling like you do.
All this will do is build a wall of resistance that may never come down. Even if you feel like you “Won”, you haven’t. Eventually, spite and negativity will seep inside you and you’ll end up sabotaging yourself and blaming the person in your life, for being SO unsupportive.
Remember, in the beginning of this post, I mentioned the good news? The ability to take the power back? Here it is.
Agree with them. Remembering that you are not convincing.
“I know I’ve been in several other companies and understand your skepticism”
“I know I haven’t finished a lot of difficult tasks in the past”
“You’re right, I have been doing this for some time now, with little to no results”
Follow each one of those statements with, “I’m going to be putting all I have into this. Here’s why…” It’s time for you to share your “Why” and your “Vision” with the ones you care about.
Bring them into the World of Possibility.
You then need to step up and do what you said you are going to do. This is now Your Time! It’s Your time to show what You’re capable of. That You’re the one that’s going to make your dreams, and the dreams of your loved ones, become a reality. There is no such thing as an excuse anymore, no more obstacles, no more bullcrap. Just you and the new reality that you are creating!
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